MOVIE REVIEW Movies Netflix and Thrill News WITCHY SHIT

WHAT SUBGENRE OF HORROR ARE YOU BASED ON YOUR ZODIAC SIGN?

Hey everyone! I’m in the Halloween spirit and I’m looking over a list of horror movies to watch on Monday! Today I was wondering what horror movie I would be based on my zodiac sign (the power of weed). It expanded into a full blown list of all the signs and what subgenre (cause I couldn’t just do one movie) they would go with. Each one has a set of three suggestions from their subgenre to check out along with one of the trailers! So, would you be prone to joining a cult? Or are you a psycho serial killer waiting to breakout? Perhaps you’re the type to record your own death. Let’s find out!

ARIES — SLASHERS/PSYCHO KILLERS

Slashers and psycho killers are the classic staple in the horror genre world. When the fine line between sanity and psychosis start to fade away, things usually take a deadly turn. When someone can be chill one moment, and then suddenly burst into a scandalous rage that ends in murder — whether for entertainment or revenge, it’s a scary thought. Fury and impulsivity — yeah, sounds like an Aries.

SCREAM | AMERICAN PSYCHO | MANIAC (2012)

TAURUS — PARANORMAL/HAUNTED HOUSES

Haunted houses are a huge part of the horror scene as well and are also considered a classic theme. There’s so many different ways to haunt a home and all are quite effective. Whether it be ghosts of someone’s past or a straight up paranormal activity, haunted houses always require some type of retribution to be avenged. A home loving Taurus would hate to have anything interrupt their peace at home — what a perfect time for a haunting!

THIR13EN GHOSTS (2001) | HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL (1999) | THE HAUNTING

GEMINI — CULTS

In the world we live in now there are many active cults operating around us at any given time (an actual study). There are many different types of cults in the world today and in films. From demonic to “tradition-based”, the world of cults is alive and well in the horror movie genre. Intriguing group gatherings and tasty punch? Looks like a great place to meet people and network, huh Gemini?

MIDSOMMER | THE INVITATION | LAST SHIFT

CANCER — HOME INVASIONS

In a year, there are over 1 million home invasions in the US alone (yikes!), and they’re also invading the horror movie world! There’s nothing more unsettling than thinking you’re safe at home meanwhile there’s some creep hiding out in your closet or breaking in as you sleep. A Cancer’s worst nightmare is having their home and family threatened — there’s no telling what could happen.

HUSH | STRANGERS | YOU’RE NEXT

LEO — ULTRA GORE

There’s nothing more intense than a crazy movie full of blood, guts, and gore! Not very many can handle it — this genre is not for the faint of heart. There’s so many crazy and creative ways to kill or die in these types of films. Being over the top with the violent scenes or extra with the blood splatting would be a Leo thing to do. The more blood, the better the movie!

TERRIFIER | EVIL DEAD (2013) | THE DEVIL’S REJECTS

VIRGO — WITCHCRAFT

Witchy wonders of the world are always rooted in the elements of blood, earth, and spirit. Divine powers are oftentimes scrutinized by those who don’t possess the magic. The many horror films on witchcraft depicting the celestial triumphs and hellish consequences of their actions can be best served as a warning to others. Traditional forms of witchcraft, massive amounts of text to study, and the love of mother nature — it’s gotta be Virgo!

SUSPERIA (2018) | THE LORDS OF SALEM | THE AUTOPSY OF JANE DOE

LIBRA — FOUND FOOTAGE

Found footage films have been relatively new within the horror genre but is taking the scene by force. Films such as these are oftentimes shaky and full of heavy breathing which enhances the experience. One’s greatest fears in a first person point of view is one of the worst things you could find on tape. Having found that someone recorded their most terrifying moments in life and eventually their own death would be heart breaking — and definitely something a Libra would do.

REC | CLOVERFIELD | V/H/S

SCORPIO — PSYCHOLOGICAL TERROR

Psychological terrorism is a horror genre delicacy mixed between fear and suspense. Within the world of horror these stand out like a sore thumb made out of PTSD. These horror films give a new meaning to terror — they don’t have to tear you a part to tear you a part. Whether it’s psycho-sexual or just plain psychotic there’s nothing about these that don’t scream Scorpio.

BLACK SWAN | MEN | GET OUT

SAGITTARIUS — ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE

High energy life-or-death situations with an “end of the world” vibe — oh, and just a few hundred… thousand rotting corpses running after you. Zombie apocalypse films have been another long time classic staple within the horror movie world but have since gotten more gruesome and flat out scary. Adrenaline fueled nights, fighting for your life would be just a typical weekend for a Sagittarius.

DAWN OF THE DEAD (2004) | TRAIN TO BUSAN | 28 WEEKS LATER

CAPRICORN — DEMONS/POSSESSSION

Summoning demonic entities or even the Devil themselves isn’t something one should do. Make movies about it? Oh yeah. Possessions can happen at any time to any one for any reason. Read some Latin — possessed. Play with a Ouija board — possessed. Move into the wrong house — possessed. Demonic possession films go from undoubtedly unreal to “based on a true story”. It seems that some have actually tried to bring the Devil to life — darn you Capricorns!

SATANIC | JENNIFER’S BODY | DEVIL

AQUARIUS — ALIEN ENCOUNTERS

Do I even need to write anything here? At this point the debate between proof and disproof of alien life has been in debate for almost a century (maybe even longer). There’s been claims of abduction, seeing UFOs, and more (yes, the infamous probing). While some claim to want to get “beamed up” like soul singer Erykah Badu, others don’t wish to believe in them at all — but don’t tell that to an Aquarius.

UNDER THE SKIN | THE THING (1982) | NOPE

PISCES — VAMPIRES/BLOOD LUST

Sensual and dangerous vampires roaming the streets at night looking for their next victim — oftentimes someone vulnerable. The lengths a vampire will go to draw someone in like a wild cat stalking and waiting to pounce on its prey. The slow draw in and the seduction of both victim and viewer is all a part of the game with vampire films. “Innocent yet deadly” would describe the duality of Pisces. They’d either be high on the kill list, or the vampires themselves.

THIRST | A GIRL WALKS HOME ALONE AT NIGHT | QUEEN OF THE DAMNED

YUSSSSSS!!!

+1`

*waves* Hiiii ^_^!

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