I’ve been tagged (several times) on Facebook and Instagram about this article posted on “The Modern Man” written by some WILDLY misinformed writer named Dan Bacon. In the article it misleads any man who reads it into thinking that they NOW know how to approach a woman who is out and about whole wearing headphones. The article …is cringe-worthy to say the least. It’s LITERALLY the definition of harassment. Take a look for yourself:
Yes it does. That’s EXACTLY what it means. She doesn’t want to be bothered. You bothering her isn’t going to get you on her good side.
THIS IS HARASSMENT. If you wanted to know how to look like a desperate loser: do this. In ALL cases you should leave her alone. There is no occasion where you need to bug her. These “tips” will not help you. This guy is teaching you how to be a disgusting, invasive creep. This is how you get hurt or pepper sprayed in the face.
This conversation isn’t going to happen. You already fucked up.
This is NOT how you get a headphone-wearing woman’s attention. You want to know what to do when you see a woman wearing headphones out in the world enjoying her day? You leave her the fuck alone. THAT’S what you do. You leave her… the fuck… alone. What are you… a creep? You’re blocking her path and waving your arms in her face like an idiot… fuck off. If she’s polite, she just wants to avoid confrontation and safely get away from you. She does not want you. Random women on the street don’t want you.
As a woman who CONSTANTLY wears headphones while walking around, I DO NOT want to be bothered. Women DO NOT want to be bothered. You’re not that special to need to demand that she takes her headphones off to listen to …what? YOU? She does NOT owe you her attention. If you’re interesting enough to her, she’ll take off the headphones herself.
Contrary to the moronic article screenshot above, women approach men ALL OF THE TIME. They just don’t approach YOU. Instead of bothering women into hating you instantly, you need to work on being more interesting. If you have to beg for someone’s attention, you don’t really have it (maybe you’re just boring).
This delusional approach to women is another key component to rape culture. Thinking women owe you their attention… is absurd. We don’t. We never did. We never will OWE you anything.
And women, you do NOT have to be polite in dealing with this. Tell him to “get the fuck out of the (your) way”. Slap his hands when he starts waiving them around in your face. Start hacking up a lugee and take aim. If you carry, let him know you have it and let him know what’s up. If you have pepper spray or mace, spray him and keep walking. You have the right to defend your personal space.
Women are more likely to be stalked, raped, and murdered by men. And more often than not, the men believe that they deserved the woman’s attention and/or felt slighted when being turned down. This idea is a dangerous one and it needs to stop NOW.
A REAL man doesn’t harass women for their attention. Focus on yourself and your life. Mind your business. Some girl will approach you in a coffee shop or a park at some point. And if not, then you need to work on yourself. Maybe start with ending this immature lifestyle of needing be so desperate and as unattractive as possible.
Just advice from an ACTUAL woman who wears headphones.