As It Is has just released a music video for their new song “The Stigma (Boys Don’t Cry)”. If you haven’t seen it yet check it out below:
The message is pretty simple, right? Obviously there is a huge stigma that “men who cry aren’t real men”, and “men don’t wear make-up” etc. And OBVIOUSLY it’s extremely dangerous and harmful to believe in such nonsense. Unfortunately, there are still some people out there who don’t get the picture. So, As It Is came up with this video just to show you exactly what they mean… here’s the breakdown:
First, you see a group of guys of different races and ages standing together on some stairs all in black with this imposing male dressed in military clothing. He… didn’t look so happy if you recall. The overly aggressive male authority figure stands at the top of the steps intimidating the group.
This could be referencing to a largely male-populated and toxic environment of the military. The mistreatment of soldiers to turn them into lifeless killing machines. The “Boys’ Club” mentality. The patriarchal bullshit.
Next, the group is seen in a classroom with the same aggressive male figure as the teacher. He’s teaching them how to tie a tie, chop wood, and punching students in the face after writing “man up” on the board (weird class).
In another take, the lead singer’s face is being mashed into a photo collage of muscular men. And while that’s going on, another student’s face is being smashed into a bucket of water because “boys don’t wear make-up”.
These are prime examples of how men are told to be, think, and act from day one. Throughout these scenes the looks on their faces are oftentimes expressing confusion. I mean, what are you supposed to feel if you’ve been shamed for feeling you’re entire life?
Another note on the kid getting punched in the face: no one said or did anything. I mean, this teacher gave him a full on black eye and no one thought to report this SOB. Why? Victims of abuse are usually quiet as to not make matters worse and quite plainly… out of shame. Men are abused a lot but we rarely hear of it… who’d believe a man would be getting abused? (Me *cough cough*). For some horrible reason most people believe that you can’t abuse a male human being… interesting.
In the end, they finally stand up to this jerk and lock him out of his own classroom. But in the hallway you see a female authority figure who is also in military garb walking by. When she stops walking, she lands in front of an open doorway filled with the chatter and laughter of girls. She then yells “SILENCE!”… and they fell silent as she walked into the room ending the video.
It shows that there are also stigmas that women are also oppressed by. Being silent and submissive is usually the role women are pushed into. Luckily for me, I’m as stubborn as they come.
The video is clearly meant to stir up some conversation on these sore subjects. Toxic masculinity is a horrible thing, especially when it’s pushed upon men who don’t want to live their lives that way. There’s plenty of assholes in the world, don’t create more by not letting men do the most natural thing a human being can do — feel.