What in the actual fuck is wrong with you?
Real question. I have no idea why complete strangers, friends, and family members are plotting around everyone’s vagina, but it needs to stop.
I was shooting this party in SF (guess which one lol), and I got into this really uncomfortable conversation with a woman who was in her late 20’s (same!). She was really eager to have kids, talking about “baby fever”, I’m… wincing, but listening attentively. Then she asks me when I’m going to have kids. I kindly say, “Oh no, not me. Kids are not my thing.” And… HERE WE GO. I swear she half-assed lunged at me (she was intoxicated trying to get closer for a serious talk that… she had no business giving me). She proceeded to tell me that I’ll “change my mind”…. “NOPE! I thought about it. Don’t want em.” THEN she talked about “my biological clock”…. “Nahhh, it’s broken.” After that… she went ALL IN with “the longer you wait, the better chances are that your baby will have defects…” and there it was, the awkward silence she so DESPERATELY wanted. But of course, I’m not letting that be the last thing said in THIS convo. “No, I don’t want kids. EVER. NEVER EVER. It’s NOT happening. I don’t want them. YOU can have them though.” She then stumbled away, saddened that she had failed to convince me to go out and get pregnant right away. (The fuck?)
Next one… (yeah, this happens A LOT to women who don’t want kids)
I’m at the medical marijuana doctor’s office getting my card finally (AYYY!), and the doctor asks me if I’m pregnant. I laugh and say, “No, I don’t want any kids so you don’t have to worry about that.” He looked up at me from his chart… and I knew it was coming… HERE WE MOTHERFUCKING GO. “Oh you’ll probably change your mind later on in life.” “No, I won’t. I don’t want kids, ever.” “Are you sure?” I give him.. THE LOOK, and to be VERY clear I said “I NEVER want kids.” He finally shut the fuck up about it and had me sign off on the paperwork. I walked out of there like… “fucking men”. But it’s not them… it’s… EVERYONE.
About once a month I have some kind of standing appointment with my mother on talking about why I’m not having kids and if she wants grandchildren then she should adopt them or just babysit for other people. Not even joking. She tries to guilt trip me on “our part of the branch” and that it’s “dying off”. She talks about how my father would be disappointed (died in 99′) if he knew I wasn’t going to continue the bloodline. And of course, I’m like.. “he’s dead, he’s not going to know” trying to get her to see the error in her “logic”. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had this talk with her. I keep thinking that one day she’ll FINALLY fucking get it… but then… HERE WE GO with some more guilt trips.
It needs to stop. ALL of it. Why is my vagina so god damn important to you? Why is anyone’s? How are you… A STRANGER… qualified to tell me what to do with my body, and my money, and my time, and my effort, and the third time I had to replace that couch because my kids don’t listen when I say “stop jumping on that or you’ll break it”? You… need to shut the fuck up.
This is from me and ANYONE (not just women) who don’t want kids: SHUT. THE FUCK. UP. MIND YOUR BUSINESS. LIVE YOUR LIFE… and I’ll live mine.
Why does this need to be written? This should be common knowledge… but the fact is, knowledge isn’t so fucking common anymore… is it?
Keep your “baby fever” to yourself or get Lysol sprayed… your choice. I’m not down with that sickness.
(MORE CURSE WORDS HERE) lol